Can I "just say yes" today?

My beautiful , energetic, rambuncious boy will be 7 in about 1 week. I cannot believe it... For some reason 7 is like a new era of time. He is getting his own cereal in the mornings.. picking out his own outfits.. decorating his room with his own ideas of "awesomeness".. and of course has his own sets of opinions about... EVERYTHING. ( He must get that from his dad's side!)
Sometimes he wants to share his opinion when it's not needed.. for example;
I say " Son, it's time to clean your room." and he thinks this is a good time to comment on why this is not a good time for him.. or how he was thinking he would do it tomorrow but not today. It could be me simply asking him to change his outfit because it's dirty or not appropriate for the destination and once again I will begin hearing all of his opinions about how the shirt isnt that dirty.. or how this is a comfy shirt and he doesn't have any other comfy shirts because I haven't done his laundry lately!
Needless to say we (Bryan and I) have been tag teaming each other when these moments happen reminding him who he is and who we are. Trying to patiently remind him that this is not time for his opinion but time for obedience! Usually I end the diatribe with the same question "Son, can't you just say "yes mommy"?! " Which he then usually says "yes, mommy" but there is a difference on the days when I tell him to do something and right away he says "Yes, mommy" Sometimes I sit in stunned silence and think "that's awesome"
But this story isn't just about parenting idealogys but about me, God's kid, as an adult. Sometimes I find it hard to "just say yes" to the Lord because I have grown in Him. So I think that gives me some leeway to let Him know what I am thinking.. and Thank God ( literally) that He is a God that longs to listen to us and communicate with us in so many ways. But I do see over and over in the Bible and in my life that there are times life could of been a whole lot easier had I just said yes to Him and His way. Maybe it wouldn't have led to easier circumstances at the time or even in the long run, but the "easier" comes on the interior in the way of peace that passes all understanding.

I remember when Holly and I were living in Paia and the Lord had begun to tell me that He wanted me to move out of our house and back onto the YWAM base. He was also telling me at that time to quit my job and go back to YWAM full time. I had so many opinions and objections.. I mean I wasn't just living on support I was working myself and people "out there" would give me kuddo's for that. I wasn't living on the base I was in my house and that was a "sign" of growing up.... to all those people out there. I could have a glass of wine in my home if I wanted and would not have that freedom living in base housing.. I was living with my best friend and the girls in base housing were alot younger then me...I mean these were good reasons for me to stay in my house.. and the Lord must not be remembering me and my circumstances.. I stubbornly held out for months.. and then I finally just said yes. I remember when I was moved out and Holly and I were living about 6 blocks away from each other.. haha.. and I called her. "Holly?" "Yeah?" " I feel so much peace, more peace then I have felt in a long time." "I know.. this is the right decision".
Sometimes just saying yes to Him makes others raise their eyebrows at you.. but it's worth it when His peace inside overwhelms you.
I'm always reiterating to my son that when he is obedient we have more time to have fun and to laugh and enjoy each other. I think the Lord has been reminding me that when I just say "yes" there is so much more time to laugh and enjoy this life.
He is a trustworthy Father that loves us and when He asks us to trust His perspective we can save alot of time, anxst, and worry by just saying "yes Papa,"

I was walking the beach looking for shells and seaglass when all of a sudden I heard the Lord say "Maria  I want to show you something extraordinary. " So I started intently looking around and wondering what He was going to point out to me  when I  slowly began seeing all of these coral pieces shaped into hearts. I love these pieces when I find them but usually it's like 2 or 3 at a time but on this morning they were everywhere. Some were laying on the top of the sand, some buried so I could only see the top sticking out, some slightly covered with sand... they were absolutely  everywhere...

 and then...

 I heard Him say " My heart is ALWAYS available. You just have to look for it, be aware of it, and don't let the sands of ache or pain or disappointment in your heart cover it up." 

Aches, pains and disappointments truly can act like sand on the surface of our heart. slowly sanding away the effervescence of salvation and truth of God.
I forget at times that His heart is available to me right at the moment of pain.. or the moment of questioning. I don't even have to mull something over in my mind on my own. I can ask Him right then for His perspective on the situation, or ask for words to say, or ask for wisdom and insight. He is available at all times to influence us , to drag us out of the pit, to change our attitude..
Yet it's so interesting that sometimes we do not want our bad attitudes to go away. we don't want to be handed hope or joy. We want to carry our angst like a backpack,  to show others because that is suppose to heal us, or make us feel important, or even rightly validated.
We think ruminating in them does something..   I'm not sure what.. but something.
So my encouragement today is let the Lord trade you Joy for pain, Assurance for anxiety, Love for hate, and Healing instead of half a healing or no healing.
We serve a good God who says" I am here"  "I Love you" " I call you masterpiece, beautifully and wonderfully made" " I cry with you" and " I heal". Will we allow Him to is the question.

A year of color and music...

It has been many months since I have written here and it boils down to the fact that I am a perfectionist... I want everything to sound right.. look right.. be right.. so I will obssess over what needs to be done or said.. or collecting just the right pictures for just the right moments, etc.. and then the Lord gave me a word the other day about creativity.
Creativity takes letting go of perfection and allowing yourself to start from right where you are and then building upon that each step of the way.
I know so many artists out there who never want to show anyone their work because it's not what they invisioned in their own mind's eye. Yet if anyone saw their work they would tell them how talented they are, and how beautiful their artwork is.
I myself have seen/heard brand new worship leaders who are nervous, miss a chord, or a note turn into some of the most gifted and talented worship leaders out there. I know that had they not been willing to practise and then try and then practise somemore , all the while being imperfect in front of others, they would not have reached their goal.
My goal is to write at least 3 times a week on this blog..I want this blog to be a place of hope, joy and  The Good News. I would also like this to be a place for those of you praying for us to see  what the Lord is doing in our lives and in the lives of the young people around us. Unfortunately my perfectionistic ways have been getting in the way of my sharing the beautiful stories around me.
This is where the creatvity will come in.
On Mother's Day I believe that the Lord told me that this would be a year of color and music. So I am sure that this will find it's way onto the blog.. as well as video's, maybe some drawings.. who knows?!
But I know that this will be year of adventure and non-perfectionistic thinking.. well.. as far as the blog goes anyway!!

So today I am hoping you can listen to a song that a friend of a friend wrote. It is about grief, about a baby dying and that baby's words to it's mama.  As I listened to it I wept and smiled remembering my dear little Kirra. 

I smiled knowing that one day I will see her again...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mNNPSKNNpY

and she will have words to say to me, Bryan and Kieva.

waiting in expectation...

 0n the night of New Years Kieva had some little friends over to watch a movie and ring in 2012! We had our own countdown, Martinelli's toast, and prayer led by Bryan. The kids had a blast! but I think by this photo you can see what the highlight of their night was!! Whipcream shots in the mouth straight from the can!!! They could barely contain themselves and of course we had to do it more then once....there's nothing like a child to remind you to live in wild expectation.
This year my desire is to wake up every morning living in wild expectation of the movement of God.. not only in my life but in other's lives as well. I desire to wake not under the daily up's and down's of circumstance but looking straight to my Heavenly Father and waiting to see what He is up to..to see His whole perspective and His beautiful conclusions. This is the most important New Year's goal I have in 2012.
By creative nature I am a feeler... the ability to feel and sense the depth of beauty in a moment..and then the dread or the anxst in moment.  By nature I do not wake every morning with gusto,exhuberance, and overflow.. but instead as I wake up I think of all I SHOULD have accomplished the day before.. all that is needed to be done.. and the feeling of defecit begins. It's not a depression but instead like something chips away at the resolve, in the night, and in the morning I must fill up again with His ideals and views. I have had people pray over my mornings as they seem to be the time that the spiritual fight for clarity is the hardest... and I believe that I am on the edge of breakthrough. I live in a place where I look to Him but I am vividly aware of all that is in my perephrial view. I believe He wants to take me to the place where I see Him and His beautiful presence coats all else.  I want to stand in His line with wild expectation, my mouth wide open ready for the beauty, the flavor, the joy He desires to fill me with.
In this year I am ready to stand in resolve again that my God is good all the time. That He is for me and not against me.. that He does own the cattle on the hill. that He desires to stretch my family's tent pegs and that most of all His desires are more awesome, more wild, more flavorful then anything I could come up with on my own. Everytime I look back on things I see the beauty of His way, His approach, His timing. May this be a year that we all say "yes", as we wiggle and giggle with excitement, to our beautiful Father in heaven.

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